How we use language towards other people really shapes our relationships. If we are cruel with our words we must expect negativity. If we are kind to other’s then we would expect kindness in return. How we use language towards ourselves shapes who we become. Kindness towards ourselves helps empower us to become more.

Whether it is our inner monologue or how we discuss ourselves with others our language has a huge impact on how we view ourselves. Try speaking kindly to yourself. Listen to the language you use and use it to empower yourself.

I have to / I get to
Instead of saying ‘I have to….’ about something that you may not be keen on doing say ‘I get to….’. This one simple twist will make a difference. There are many people who don’t ‘get to’ do things. So be grateful that you can.
 

Focus on the Positive

Instead of focusing on things that you dislike about yourself. 

E.g. I hate my fat body, I will never stop being poor, My life is worthless. Use the phrase 'I am....' to focus on your qualities. I am kind. I am hard working. I am a wonderful person. I am a valuable employee. I am a good daughter. Use the phrase 'I am....' as an affirmation of your good qualities. 

Use Questions

Avoid using 'I can't...' and turn the statement into a question. 

E.G

I can't afford to buy luxuries could become How can I afford to buy luxuries?
I can't lose weight could become How do I lose weight?
I can't find a good job becomes How can I find a good job?

Turning negative statements into questions gets your mind thinking of solutions. It is far more powerful to be thinking of solutions than just stating problems. Write a few statements you say to yourself and see how you can turn them into questions. Then ask yourself one question at a time and see how your mind responds.
 

But / And

Replace the word 'but' with 'and' as often as you can. Using the word 'but' takes on a negative connotation about the first part of the sentence.
 

Example:
 

She is beautiful BUT she is tall. That implies there is a problem with her being tall. Whereas She is beautiful AND she is tall is far more positive. 
He is very kind BUT he keeps to himself. That implies there is a problem with keeping to oneself.
He is very kind AND he keeps to himself. That is far kinder.

Try / Will

Using the word 'Try' introduces an element of doubt into the situation. So say 'I will....' and don't follow it with the word 'Try'. 'I will....; is a very powerful phrase.

I / You

If we use the word 'You' when talking it can separate us from what we are saying. When someone says 'You know what it is like when you.....' That tries to draw someone in to a comment that they may not be able to relate to. Use the phrase 'I' instead. Take ownership of what you are talking about. 

Try replacing the following phrases with the more empowering ones next to them:

I have to becomes I choose to or I get to
I ought to becomes I can
I should becomes I will
But is replaced with And
You is replaced with I (where appropriate)

Speak kindly to others. Speak kindly to yourself. See what a difference it makes.